Ugh

Well I don't like what you did to me. I feel it was unjust because it was a much more violent version of what I did. How am I supposed to be excited about tomorrow? I don't even want to go to bed and lay next to you now. I'm so tired I could fall over but the hurt is whats keeping me awake. I love you but sometimes you make me so mad I want to hate you and I can't do that because of what you mean to me. I look at all these people I used to know who are having babies and getting divorced and it depresses me so much to know that even a little part of you doesn't want a family right now when I feel so right about one. I'm excited to be trying but at the same time I'm terrified that you aren't and a part of you may die when you find out I'm pregnant. It kills me.